I think we’ve all been there at one point or the other. You know what I’m talking about. The point where you’ve been trying to get him or her to date you but they just aren’t reciprocating. 99.9% of the time the hard truth is they’re simply just not into you. The problem is our emotions cloud our judgment probably 100% of the time. We hold onto any sign that there’s a chance when in reality, there was never a chance to begin with. That won’t stop us from hoping though. How can you tell if they’re just not into you? Here are some of my thoughts.
These aren’t the only ways you can tell but rather some signs that you might want to keep in mind the next time you’re crushing over someone and not sure what they think of you.
They Don’t Want To Hang Out With You AND your Friends
Hanging out with you is fine, as long as the two of you are alone. When the opportunity comes to hang with you and your friends, they’re nowhere to be found. Funny how that works out.
If they really were into you they’d want to meet and get to know your friends because that’s a good way to get to know you better as well. It’s also a good way to get closer. If the friends like them then all the better for them. No time spent with your friends? A sign that they probably aren’t in it for the long haul.
You’ve Been Hanging Out For Over 6 Months And They Still Aren’t Sure They Want To Date You.
Sure you’ve been hanging out with each other for a while, but whenever you try to talk about where things are going they brush it off. Let’s not ruin things by rushing into anything. I just really like spending time with you.
This really is code for I’m lonely so I’ll hang out with you until something else comes a long. Things don’t need to happen fast, but if it’s months on end and still no changes, get the hell out. It’s hard I know. Especially if you really like someone, which is usually the case.
Move on. The sooner the better. You’re worth more than being a fill in.
They Don’t Text You Back In A Reasonable Time Frame.
In today’s day and age, this is the worst. It’s a big pet peeve of mine. You send a text and get a response four days later. Usually with a text saying “oh sorry I just got this now” or “been so busy sorry for the late reply.” You know where you can stick that late reply? Let me tell you…. 😛
We get busy for sure, but let’s face it our phones are by us 24/7. A lot of people leave them on all the time.
If you’re getting texts days or weeks later its a sign that they probably don’t really care much to respond to you.
Maybe they legit had a good reason, but if it’s the norm and not the exception, tell them to take a hike.
A Lot Of Your Plans Are Last Minute.
Hmmm, let’s see if anyone else wants to do something first THEN maybe if I have nothing lined up I’ll consider hanging out with you.
If they never want to commit to anything it’s because you’re not high on their “to hang with” priority list. This is a hard one to realize sometimes because you’re so happy that they got in touch with you that you don’t notice.
You deserve to be someone who they will make plans for in advance. Don’t settle for less.
They Are Dating Someone Else.
The rock solid proof that they’re just not into you, yet somehow people still don’t get it. Oh they aren’t really into that person. They are about to break up. Things are on the rocks.
No. It’s simple.
[clickToTweet tweet=”If the person you’re into is dating someone else, the simple truth is they’re just not into you. ” quote=”If the person you’re into is dating someone else, the simple truth is they’re just not into you. ” theme=”style1″]
Even if the person you’re into is dating someone else, you still hold on to hope that things will change. I’ve done it regrettably, and so have a lot of other people.
Everyone get’s one pass though so don’t be too hard on yourself. Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me.
They Say They Aren’t Ready To Date Yet.
This is the worst. If you say this to someone who is into you what that person really hear’s is “when you’re ready to date then it’ll be me.” In reality it’s “I’m not ready to date yet, and you’re not the person I would date if I was.” People should really say that. Harsh? Maybe, but it is the truth.
How many of you have held on to hope when someone says they’re just not ready to date only to find out that they’re dating someone else soon after? I see a lot of virtual hands up, mine included. Yup it sucks.
How Can You Know For Sure?
If they do some or all of the points listed above, then there’s a good chance that they’re not into you. That’s OK though. It’s better to know sooner than later so that you can spend your time with someone who’s worth it instead.
I wish I could say you can see the signs if you know them but even them I think we often choose to ignore them. If I knew what I know now and had the good sense to pay attention to the signs it would have saved me a lot of heartache and time. Sigh…live and learn though, live and learn.
Still don’t know and are tired of guessing? I think the best thing to do is just ask. Too forward? Perhaps. Will it hurt to hear the truth? Likely, but hey at least you know. If you continue to pursue them after you know the truth, at least you’re going in eyes wide open instead of lost in the dark.
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Have you ever been into someone only to find out the hard way that they’re just not into you? How did you feel and if you could do it differently what would you have done? Let me know in the comments below!
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